its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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