its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
