you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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