I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Sober January is a disaster.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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