paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
