can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
