allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
