Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
