Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
