im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
