would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
