Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
either way he was missing a nipple.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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