I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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