there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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