Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize