i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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