I accidentally burped into my bong.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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