Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
