Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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