Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
