my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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