ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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