never play flip cup with pint glasses
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
