It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I will be naked everywhere
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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