Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
