with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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