we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
