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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize