i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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