how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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