Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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