So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
