I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
