Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
