Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
