Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
