shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dicks are not precious.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
