we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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