just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
