I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
