i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
