It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
