He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
