I need to stop coming to work sober
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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