Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
