im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
