girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
