ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
