"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
