I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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