it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
