Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize