When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
