I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
