Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
