Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
