Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
