Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
