I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
should my penis look like a turkey
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
