the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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