I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
my sisters under your porch take her home
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
